Friday, August 24, 2012

Energy Vampires: How to protect yourself

This kind of vampires most definitely exists.  They’re everywhere.  There may be one or two in your family or circle of friends and co-workers.  They zap your energy without you being aware of it until they leave you once again on your own.  You then suddenly feel physically weak, intellectually fatigued, and spiritually drained.

If surrounded by too many of them, better get yourself a country getaway where you can spend the weekend with your loved ones to enjoy some peace and fresh air.  You may also review the following help tips from Personal Excellence:

How To Deal With Energy Vampires

1. Ground Yourself

The first important step when facing energy vampires is to ground yourself. To ground yourself is to center yourself such that you do not get easily affected or swayed by negative energies around you. Otherwise you’ll get easily sucked into his/her vortex. Think of it as standing next to a quick sand. Be rooted in your own energy first before you engage him/her.

To ground yourself, first imagine the essence of your soul amassing in the center of your body. Next, imagine roots growing out from underneath your feet, deep into the ground. The roots are extremely sturdy and strong – they are anchoring you and your essence into the ground, such that nothing can sway them. Think of yourself as a big and strong oak tree that’s firmly rooted in the ground.

2. Shield Yourself

The next step is to shield yourself. This is your second layer of protection, after grounding. A shield is like a bubble around you that separates you and the world; it’s an energy barrier which keeps out any forms of undesirable energy from entering into your space. Like a real shield, your shield is a defense tool which protects you from aggressors or attacks from outside. It keeps your energy within you and prevents it from getting sucked by the energy vampire. Read: How to Make a Energy Shield.

A shield is not permanent. The energy of the shield wears off over time, which lowers its ability to protect you. In the face of negative people trying to leech off your energy, the shield’s defense ability can be quickly depleted. The more negative the person is, the weaker the shield becomes. When it reaches a point where the shield’s energy is fully depleted, it will cease to function. To avoid that from happening, you should constantly check to ensure your shield is present and upkeep it where needed.

3. Hang Out in Groups of 3 or More

It’s tricky to deal with a negative person on a 1-1 basis because all the negativity would be directed at you. On the other hand, if it’s in a group of 3 or more, the attention is divided between you and the other people. This way, you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the person’s pessimism.
I find that when I’m in a group with an energy vampire, I get the chance to observe how the others interact, which gives me added insights about him/her. Other people may also have their own ways of dealing with negativity, so it’s a good chance to learn from them too.

4. Provide a Listening Ear

People are usually negative because of several factors in their life or events that have taken place in the past. Sometimes their venting comes from repressing their grievances. Rather than disregard their viewpoints, provide a listening ear. Sometimes what people need aren’t solutions, but just someone to listen and empathize with them. By letting them air out their thoughts, sometimes it leads to realizations on what they should do.

5. Extend A Helping Hand

Is there anything you can help them with? Sometimes people complain as a way of crying out for help. See if there’s anything you can do to support them. Ask them “Is there anything I can do to help you?”. They may not show it, but deep down they’ll appreciate your generosity.

6. Stick to Light Topics

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, a friend of mine sinks into a self-victimizing mode whenever we talk about his work. No matter what I say (or don’t say), he’ll keep complaining once we talk about work.

In the ideal world we want to help lift the person out of his/her negativity. But in cases where the negativity is too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation, or the person has very staunch opinions on that topic, it might be better to switch to a different topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, make for light conversation. Keep it to things that uplifts the person.

7. Reduce Contact

If none of the above works, the next step will be to reduce contact. Limit your contact as much as you can. If it’s a teammate you work with, then limit the communication to just work-related issues.

8. Cut Them Away From Your Life

I’d like to share a quote from John Assaraf with you:

“I just do not hang around anybody that I don’t want to be with. Period. For me, that’s been a blessing, and I can stay positive. I hang around people who are happy, who are growing, who want to learn, who don’t mind saying sorry or thank you… and [are] having a fun time.”

When all else fails, the last solution is to cut them away from your life. 

While this may seem drastic, bear in mind that energy vampires hold you down from reaching greater heights since they keep feeding off your energy. Ultimately, you are the average of the 5 people you are with. In spending your time around energy vampires, you’ll soon become negative too, which I’m sure isn’t what you want.

Now that you have learned how to deal with negative people via the tips above, think about the people you face daily. Are there any energy vampires? Who are they? What can you do to better deal with them in the future?

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